Kidnap
by stOkmAi
Summary: Ayu is (dundundundunnn!) kidnapped! Kaji and the others need to go through the Very Dangerous and Dark Forest, fight stupid monsters and save Ayu who is trapped in..Sebastian's castle! Warning: VERY humorous..I think..and really stupid..R&R (completed)
1. Break in

~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
THE KIDNAP (dundundundunnnnnn!!!!!!)  
  
Disclaimers: I don't own Ultra Maniac... but I love NINA!! Tsujiai+Nina forevah!!  
  
Warnings: bending swords, stupid violence  
  
Anywayz, on with the story..  
  
~*~*~  
  
CHAPTER I: Break-in  
  
~*~  
  
One fine day, it was night. [AN: see, even in the start its already stupid...] A kidnapper was alive and was about to kidnap (dundundundunnnnnn!!!!) someone.  
  
"Tonight! I'm going to succeed in kidnapping someone with a certain ingredient that can bring my lover back to life!!!" the kidnapper said as he went inside the safe house by the window. [AN: but right now, its not **safe** anymore...] "Anyway, I MUST be very quiet and care- FUUUUUULLLLLLL!!!!!!!!" -too late, he tripped by the windowsill. He fell headfirst on the floor and rolled down a very long flight of stairs. Luckily (for him), no one in the safe house heard him. 'Before I leave this not-so safe house, I must leave a note... reminding them to clean their ears!' he thought.  
  
He crept quickly and quietly to one of the guests' room... but with a lot of tripping and bumping on the way, which is not quiet and quick. 'I really need to remind them to clean their ears!' he thought hotly, but coolly, standing up after his 17th trip with bump. [AN: it's REALLY a lot, right? Anyhow, I added the **bump** coz I thought... nothing! I just placed it!] That's when he noticed he was already standing in front of Ayu Tateshi's bedroom door. He was about to touch the doorknob when a voice inside him screeched, 'Are you sure Tateshi's the person you're looking for?' [AN: again, I don't know why I placed **screeched**, its just funny!]  
  
He immediately searched for the profiles inside his very messy bag, and I mean VERY MESSY, 'coz its filled with wrappers, plastic, junk food, and things that aren't really needed for kidnappers, which includes a compass, lighter, box of cigarettes, smoke bombs, toilet paper, toothpaste, goggles, flippers, walkman, CDs, spoons and forks, Tupperware, photo album, hair gel, perfume, facial wash [OH MY GAWD!!!!!!] house keys, key chains, pins, cloth, wallet, lava lamp, stapler, deodorant, books, water gun, a new set of clothes obviously been dumped inside and not bothered to be folded properly, and MTM. [1] [AN: WHEW!!! That's only ONE SENTENCE, mind you!!] He didn't have porno zines 'coz he'll be killed by his love.  
  
At last, he found the profiles. He flipped the pages back and forth, searching for Ayu's, until he found it, the second profile; he had a hard time finding the profile 'coz he's blind... WHA? I mean; he was blinded by the darkness. "Hmm... Yup, its her alright..." He closed the folder and put it back inside, but having a hard time. If you're asking why, then read the previous paragraph!  
  
But then, the door was open and was already against the wall, but the kidnapper didn't notice. So, not noticing the open hole, he swung the door to the hole and bumped the wall headfirst! [AN: I really want him to have amnesia, ne?] "OUCH!!!!" he exclaimed somewhat... girly. So he IS gay! Anyway, he rubbed his head furiously, making it hurt even more. "That was my how-manyth time now!! Now, where is it... Oh, here it is!" he said as he felt the open hole, not minding if he didn't lower his voice 'coz he already knows the people inside this not-so safe house forgot to clean their ears and couldn't hear him.  
  
He went inside the room. It was as messy as his bag, which is weird 'coz she's supposed to be a clean freak... I think. 'Ooh, doesn't she EVER clean her room up?' he thought angrily as he tripped for the 23rd time now. 'Oh, speak for yourself!' a voice familiarized as his love's said at the back of his head. He chuckled, then tripped for the 24th time. [AN: doesn't his face get deformed after tripping and bumping flat on the face?] He went over Ayu's bed and put a handkerchief over her mouth, but having a extremely hard time like when he was searching and putting the profiles in his bag 'coz Ayu's mouth was open. [AN: was the last sentence correct? Hope so...]  
  
~*~  
  
Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Tetsushi Kaji was getting a glass of water when he saw the kidnapper running down the stairs, and on his back was Kaji's girlfriend!!!' "Hey!" Kaji yelled; the kidnapper stopped dead, his foot or leg, whatever, was still hanging on mid-air. "Where are you taking MY Ayu?!" he asked, trembling of coldness.. No, matte, of fury. Then, the kidnapper ran. "Stop!" he shouted, going after him.  
  
The kidnapper slowed down in the living room, catching for his breath. "With Ayu on my back when being chased by a maniac, I'm sure to lose weight..." he panted. Then, Ayu arrived. "Stop in the name of the law!" he ordered.  
  
The kidnapper put (or dropped) Ayu down on the floor and absentmindedly got one of the twin swords that was made decoration in an 'X' form. "On guard!" he warned Kaji, positioning himself. Kaji got the other sword.  
  
They fought, their swords bending every time it hit something; their fight was really useless. It was getting boring too. So the kidnapper decided to make a run for it. And luckily (for him again) he was near the front door. An idea then came to his head. He backed up little by little until Ayu was on his heels. [AN: oh, poor Ayu!] He then grabbed Ayu somewhere, guess her arms, threw the sword to Kaji, and ran outside, yelling, "I'm FREE!!!!" as if he escaped from prison who's police didn't clean their ears and had bending swords for weapons.  
  
When Kaji went outside, the kidnapper threw Ayu inside his car. [AN: is this revenge for tripping how many times in the not-so safe house?] "COME BACK HERE, NO NAME!!!!" he roared, but it was no use 'coz the kidnapper drove out of sight.  
  
~*~*~  
  
AN: so was it stupid or stupider? Hope so...  
  
Anywayz, some clarifications:  
  
[1] MTM= hope you know that this abbreviation means 'many to mention'. I could also use M2M for that  
  
Well, guess that's all. R&R pleeeeezzzzze! Arigato!!! And also please read the GW version of this... its also a yaoi version... ( 


	2. Finding Ayu

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
THE KIDNAP (dundundundunnnnnn!!!!!!)  
  
Disclaimers: I don't own Ultra Maniac and Disney and Pixar's Finding Nemo 'coz my brains' too stupid and small that I couldn't think or make up something as big as those  
  
Warnings: splitting tracks, stupid monsters with stupid names that are covered with fruit goo, stupid attacks that are named stupidly  
  
A/N: the plot is not really from Finding Nemo but the title is! That's the ONLY reason why I placed Pixar and Disney in the disclaimers part! Hehehe...  
  
~*^*~*^*~*^*~  
  
CHAPTER II: Finding Ayu  
  
"I said HURRY UP!!!!!!!!!!!" Kaji yelled at Nina, Tsujiai and Yuta for the sixth time now. The **cute** couple [1] and Yuta stormed down the stairs, bringing one mountain bag each. When they reached the bottom, Kaji was already outside. "I SAID HURRY UUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!" Kaji roared, shaking the whole lot. "I think Kaji-kun recorded that line." Nina whispered to Tsujiai and Yuta.  
  
Kaji ran as fast as he could towards the mountains and hills that are filled with trees, so it's like a forest......... Anyway, when Tsujiai caught up with him, Tsujiai asked "Why are you such in a hurry?"  
  
"If Nina was kidnapped, you'll know exactly how I feel!" Kaji replied, then ran faster. Nina caught up with Tsujiai. "What did he say?" she asked. Tsujiai shrugged. "He's so in love with Ayu."  
  
Kaji ran SOOOOOOOOO fast that his legs and feet were turning like wheels. He had angry, furious, mad, and all those sort of expressions in his face. He followed the tracks left by the kidnapper (the car was left)......... Until he came past a tree which the trail split, going both ways around the tree. 'It doesn't matter,' he thought furiously, speeding up. 'A little tree wont hurt me!!!!' So, like a bulldozer, he ran it down. But the tree just bended, meaning it was made of rubber! When Kaji passed it, it stood up straight as it was, but fruits went flying around and hit the faces of the sleeping monsters of the forest......... or mountain, whatever.  
  
*//*\\*  
  
The leader of the monsters woke up just as a fruit hit him and splattered all over his face. "QQQQUUUUUAAAAAACCCCKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!" he roared. Immediately, Quack, the advisor or what of the king woke up. "Y-yes, K-King G-Gribbet?" he stammered, obviously still sleepy. But when he saw the king's face, he had to fight down a laugh.  
  
"WHO DID THIS TO ME?!?!" he yelled, pointing at his face. "TELL ME WHO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Quack got his binoculars and looked all around the forest-mountain thingy. ".........It's a crazy boy who resembles a bulldozer, sir." He said as his eyes – or binoculars – saw Kaji running like the crazy he's always been, splitting trees or whatsoever on his way into two.  
  
King Gribbet smiled his nasty and VERY DISGUSTING because of the fruit goo smile. "Well, he's just a little boy, right?" Quack then saw Tsujiai, Nina and Yuta following Kaji's tracks, but not COMPLETELY following his, uh, movement and all those sorts of things. "He has company. Two boys and a girl who're not so crazy." His "eewww" smile widened. "Very well! Send out 500 soldiers!" 'Woah! He's really angry, sending 500 soldiers just to attack 3 puny little boys and 1 puny little girl.' Quack thought as he followed the king's order.  
  
When the four arrived the top, Kaji got ready to dodge down just when the 500 monsters blocked their way. "GET-OUT-OF-THE-WAY!!!" Kaji roared, but instead, the monsters went near him – I mean them. So, Kaji being impatient, furious, mad, angry and all those stuffs, charged towards them – I mean the monsters. He ran them down exactly just like a bulldozer that he flattened and knocked down almost half of them. The others fled, frightened and scared of Kaji. Yuta turned to face Kaji, grinning. "Woah, that was so totally freakin' awesome! How did you – KAJI!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Too late, Kaji was already rolling down – literally. Tsujiai, Nina and Yuta went after him, but not following his BREAKING example. When the three hit final flat, Kaji was **re-attaching** his bones to its right places.  
  
"Kaji, why-ow-did you-ow-roll-ow-down?" Nina asked, flinching and saying "ow" every time Kaji's bones click or something like that. Kaji first re- attached his bones before answering.  
  
"'Coz I'm in a hurry, that's why." Kaji then got ready to run and be like a bulldozer again, and the three exchanged worried looks. But then, Quack and King Gribbet arrived. The two humans and two magicians who were-no- ARE abnormal had to fight down a laugh.  
  
Fruit thingy were splattered all over King Gribbet's face and half of a fruit was still stuck on his forehead. Quack meanwhile looked funny and yellow-orangey even though not a single fruit had hit him.  
  
King Gribbet, a green, toad-like something, went near the four. "That was good, bulldozer-man. I didn't think you would survive the, er, roll." Kaji smirked. "Hn. For your information, I have a name."  
  
"His name is King Gribbet, crazy, bulldozer-person." Quack said. Tsujiai rolled his eyes as Kaji snorted. "He said he had a name, not what's his name. Honestly, you need to clean your ears."  
  
"Oh!" Quack and Nina said together. Tsujiai looked at Nina with surprised eyes or whatever. Nina blushed slightly. "Sorry, I also didn't hear right."  
  
"Anyway," King Gribbet interrupted, sounding slightly – I mean VERY annoyed. "What do you call yourselves, humans?" .........There was a moment of silence. Finally, they replied.  
  
"Tetsushi."  
  
"Hiroki."  
  
"Sakura."  
  
"Kirishima."  
  
King Gribbet laughed, obviously not believing them. "Yeah, yeah. And I'm the queen of England." He joked. "But who cares on what we call you? You're gonna die anyhow." Kaji snorted. "Really?"  
  
Then, they fought. It was reeeeeeally stupid, especially the names of King Gribbet's attacks: 'Hopscotch', 'Toad Kick' and 'Hop & Kick'......... and they all looked the same. All Kaji had to do was evade it.  
  
"How the hell are you gonna defeat me with three attacks that still looks the same?" Kaji asked as he evaded AGAIN King Gribbet's attack. "Don't EVER underestimate the power of the king of the forest!! JUMP ATTACK!!" he jumped......... and attacked Kaji in the same manner as the three other attacks.  
  
Meanwhile, Quack, Nina, Tsujiai and Yuta were watching King Gribbet and Kaji fight. Tsujiai shook his head. "No way King whatshisname's gonna defeat Kaji like that." Nina nodded in agreement. "C'mon, let's go, you guys." And with that, they walked away.  
  
"Bye, humans!" the two, uh, thingies who were fighting heard Quack shout. King Gribbet hopped towards Quack. "QUACK, WHY DID YOU LET THEM JUST WALK AWAY?!?!!!" just then, Kaji went near them. "Hey, I gotta go. See ya, king." King Gribbet just nodded. Kaji then ran after the three humans who went ahead. Suddenly, the king went bug-eyed. "HEY, COME BACK HERE!!!!!" but too late, they were nowhere in sight.  
  
~*/@\*~  
  
A/N: at last, I'm done!!! Hmm......... I wonder when I can write chap 3......... well, WHATEVER!!!  
  
Okies, some clarifications:  
  
[1] cute couple = I got this from my 'Heero's Stupid Mix-up' fic. I like it, that's all! It's so......... cute!!!  
  
Oh, and yeah, if your wondering why Yuta and Nina didn't use magic, its because Kaji still didn't know!! Now I'm confused... 


	3. In The Middle

~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
THE KIDNAP (dundundundunnnnnn!!!!)  
  
Disclaimers: I don't own Ultra Maniac... just borrowing the characters... (sigh) how sad...  
  
Warnings: dunno, stupid signs... stupid main characters... stupid password... stupid announcer...  
  
I don't want to spoil the chapter, so on with it!!!  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Chapter III: In the Middle of the Very Dangerous and Dark Forest Mountain Thingy... in short, In the Middle  
  
It was already nighttime, which was unusual and weird since they were inside the forest mountain thingy for only five hours and they left the not- so safe house so early in the morning.  
  
"Tsujiai-kun, I'm scared!" Nina whined. "It's sooo dark!!"  
  
"Then get your flashlight." Tsujiai said coolly. "I packed one for you." And with that, he kept walking.  
  
Nina pouted. "Mou, Tsujiai-ku!! You're so not romantic!!" then she opened her mountain bag and got her flashlight. So did Yuta.  
  
Nina turned it on... but didn't see Kaji. "Hey, where's Kaji?" she asked Tsujiai. All she got was, "Dunno."  
  
She searched the whole fores... okay, not really whole, but she searched Kaji with her flashlight in the road they were in. And then she found him... lying flat on the floor.  
  
"He must be tired, being a bulldozer for four to five hours now." Yuta said. Tsujiai sighed. "Okay, I'll carry him."  
  
But when he bent down, Kaji sat upright... I mean he sat upright like a dog on its four legs. His eyes were menacing; it was all white and... evilly... whatever that meant... as in evil... anyway, as if his eyes weren't enough to show his anger, his teeth were all pointy and there was smoke coming out of his nostrils.  
  
Tsujiai smacked his hand on his forehead. "Oh, no, not again!" but this time, Kaji was ready to charge... like a bull!! Guess he just took out the "dozer" part.  
  
Then, he charged... and then... BONK!!!!!!! He hit a tree headfirst. His face was still stuck on the tree when the three ran to his assistance.  
  
When Tsujiai pulled Kaji's face out of the tree, Kaji's eyes were now all swirly... "Which reminds me," Nina said suddenly, "...I'm hungry!!!"  
  
Kaji suddenly shook out of his reverie and yelled, "We cannot think of food at a time like this, Nina!!"  
  
Nina placed her hands on her hips. "And why not?"  
  
"Your best friend, as well as my girlfriend, is captured by some unknown guy and he took her here!! ...Somewhere... Anyway, we need to save her!!" he yelled.  
  
"But--"  
  
Kaji sighed heavily. "Nina, don't worry! After we save Ayu-chan, we'll have a party to celebrate Ayu's safe return 'coz we saved her. K?"  
  
At this, Nina's eyes shone. "A party? Woohoo!! C'mon, let's go!!!!!!" And with that, Kaji and Nina ran. Tsujiai and Yuta sweat dropped.  
  
They ran...and ran...and ran... but then they came past a sign that said, "BEWARE: YOU ARE NOW IN THE MIDDLE OF THE VERY DANGEROUS AND DARK FOREST!!! ...IN SHORT, IN THE MIDDLE"  
  
Kaji snorted when he read the sign. "No sign's gonna stop me from saving MY Ayu!!! Let's go guys!!!!!"  
  
"D-D'you think it's s-safe to go in th-there?" Nina stammered. Tsujiai rolled his eyes. "You can wait if you want to, Nina."  
  
"Yeah," Kaji said, ready to run-again. "You keep an eye for monsters or something like that out here, k?"  
  
At this, Nina went bug-eyed. "NOOO WAY!!!!! I'm coming in with you guys!!!!"  
  
"Then let's GO!!!!!" Kaji yelled, punching his fist in the air.  
  
They went in... Yuta was looking around... when he found a sign.  
  
"Huh?" he said, going near the sign. "What's this?"  
  
There were drawings in it. The first drawing was a person (in stick-drawing to be specific) walking, then a plus sign, and words like dog...book...shower...facial wash... word, etc... And as they went ahead, Yuta saw more of the sign.  
  
"Wonder what's this supposed to mean..." Yuta said to himself. Then something hit him. He immediately ran towards the others.  
  
"GUYS!!!!" he yelled. "Guys, I saw this sign, it was like WEIRD, and there were these weird drawings, and I think it was trying to tell us that if we walk in here, a dog, book, shower, facial wash and all other words you know will attack!!!"  
  
The three stared at Yuta like he was some weirdo... which in fact, he is. "Yuta, nothing's gonna attack us!" Kaji said. "But if something does, the things you just said are exceptions."  
  
"Yeah, no way a facial wash is gonna attack us." Nina said. Tsujiai stared at her with disbelief.  
  
"No way... for the first time, Nina's got some brains." He said rather breathlessly.  
  
"Thank – hey!!! What's that supposed to mean?!" Nina demanded, pouting. Kaji and Yuta laughed. "MOU!! If you guys don't quiet down, I'll take you to the other world with my magic!!" [1] This made the boys shut up...  
  
However, Yuta had an evil grin smirk [2] on his face. "What can you do, anyway? You're a drop-out witch who had to study abroad and use a computer to do magic 'coz you can't get one single spell right!"  
  
Uh-oh. Yuta just hit a nerve. Nina's eyes flashed, as well as her hands, and the next thing they knew, Yuta was... flying.  
  
"Woah, I didn't know Yuta's air-borne," Kaji said. Tsujiai sweat dropped. "Uh, I think it's because of Nina," he informed. Kaji stared... "Oh. I knew that."  
  
'All the people I meet always get weirder by the minute,' Tsujiai thought.  
  
Yuta then hit flat... just in front of a castle... a castle with Sebastian's face as the logo of the flag!!  
  
"Greetings, people of the forest!!" a voice suddenly boomed. The three looked around for the voice, but didn't find the...person who owns the voice.  
  
"You have entered my territory!!! To move on, you must say the...PASSWORD!"  
  
"Password?" Yuta said as he stood up. That was the only part of the sentence he heard. Then he remembered the signs.  
  
"HEY, GUYS!!" he yelled.  
  
Nina covered her ears. "You don't have to shout!" she countered. "We're only 10 inches apart!!!!"  
  
"Oh," Yuta sweat dropped. "Anyway, in the signs I saw, what if the stick- drawing walking was to represent 'pass' and the words represent the word 'word' and it makes the word... word-pass?"  
  
"Oh, c'mon man!" Tsujiai said exasperatedly. "The word's PASSWORD for crying out loud!"  
  
Yuta stared... then said, "I knew that."  
  
"**AHEM**!!!!" the voice coughed. [Like duh] "Erm... your password is... correct!"  
  
"WHA?!" the four said in unison.  
  
"Er, yes, the password's 'password'... anyway, erm... next question! What is the meaning of life?" the voice asked.  
  
Nina bit the end of her thumb. "Hmmm...... Y'know what guys? That voice sounds awfully familiar."  
  
"Awful, more like," Tsujiai said under his breath.  
  
All were deep in thought thinking who could have owned that voice....... When Kaji snapped his fingers.  
  
"I know!!!" Kaji said triumphantly. "It's... who was it I was thinking again?" Tsujiai slapped his palm in his forehead.  
  
"Ooh, yeah! I remember! That person in the flag... who was he again?" Kaji said as he pointed at the flag. Nina gasped.  
  
"SEBASTIAN?"  
  
"Erm..." the voice said. "Yeah, its me."  
  
"I knew it!" Nina said, punching her fist in the air. Tsujiai patted her on the shoulder while Yuta said, "Good job, Nina!"  
  
Kaji was waterfall crying. "Isn't anybody gonna praise me for pointing it out to you guys?"  
  
The doors of the castle opened. Their adventure [if you call it] was getting hotter... I think... whatever!!!  
  
~*~*~  
  
Haay... at last!!! Chapter 3!! Heehee... nyweiz, some clarifications:  
  
[1] Oops, I said the wrong thing in chap 2... its boring without Nina's not- so good magic... and, well, Yuta's black magic... so, Kaji knows... here ya go, Cattleya Glory!  
  
[2] evil grin smirk – arigato to Berny, Mona and Jessica for this! Hope you can do an example of it! [I've been waiting for like, one year now!!!]  
  
And thanks to Jessica/Jishu 'coz she was actually the one who encouraged me to write this fic in the first place, also to Lou 'coz this was originally her dream and when Jishu told me all about it, she told me to write a fic... and here it is!!!  
  
Also thanks to the reviewers:  
  
Cattleya Glory- thanks for the review, yeah, I know that Kaji knows, but in this story, there wasn't supposed to be magic! [Sorry!] But then I realized that it's boring without it!! So I included magic already in this chap...  
  
Aya-yahiko- thanks for the review; although I would advice Aya not to hug Yuta to death 'coz I'm still gonna need him in this fic!!  
  
Maniac witchies- thanks for the review; Tsujiai/Nina forevah!!  
  
Zhakeena- thanks for the review; hope you don't count the [like duh] and all those things in bracket and parenthesis as 'disturbance' of your fic reading.  
  
Jishushika26- ei, Jish! Thanks for dropping by and reviewing... yea, guess I'm gonna need you for inspiration and Darice about her brothers... hehe...  
  
Thank you all for reading!!! TBC!!!! 


	4. Inside Seb's Castle

~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
THE KIDNAP (dundundundunnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!)  
  
Disclaimers: I don't own Ultra Maniac, isn't it obvious?  
  
Warnings: too many pictures of Sebastian... man, that guy must love himself so much... well, as well as his love... hmm, wonder who could his love be???  
  
~*~*~  
  
CHAPTER IV: INSIDE SEBASTIAN'S CASTLE  
  
As the four people, aliens, whatever, entered Sebastian's castle, a robot- like voice (which still awfully sounds like Sebastian) said, "Welcome! To Sebastian's castle!"  
  
They walked on, looking around. There wasn't much to see... on the count that every wall of the castle was literally filled with Sebastian's pictures... each with a different pose.  
  
Nina was amazed; she was also wondering how many times Sebastian had his picture taken, but Tsujiai felt like he was going to puke.  
  
'What's up with this guy?' he thought. 'And why did he kidnap Ayu in the first place?'  
  
Kaji, too, wasn't feeling well. "Man, this castle's giving me the creeps. What's with the Sebastian picture-filled castle?"  
  
They walked on and on and on... Nina was looking at the pictures and following Sebastian's poses, Tsujiai was holding his stomach and mouth, Kaji was deep in thought, and Yuta... well, no comment.  
  
Suddenly...  
  
Kaji went near one of Sebastian's pictures and shook it feverishly... or should I say he strangled the picture, as if it was really Sebastian. "WHY?!?!!" he yelled. "Why the heck did you kidnap MY Ayu?!" the other three sweat dropped.  
  
Then, suddenly... SWOOSH!!!!  
  
Kaji stopped shaking... er, strangling the picture when an arrow hit the wall, narrowly missing him by an inch. All were beady eyed... Then...  
  
A swarm of arrows were flying everywhere, all over the place!!!! They ran...  
  
"What the heck did you just do, Kaji?!" Yuta shouted.  
  
"I don't know!!!!" Kaji yelled back.  
  
Then, they came to a split road.  
  
"What now?!" Tsujiai asked.  
  
"Let's split up," Kaji suggested. "You and Nina to the left, Yuta and I to the right!! GO!!!" and they split up. The arrows weren't able to follow them... 'Coz they're arrows and arrows don't have brains so they cant turn left or right... just straight ahead...  
  
Anyway, Tsujiai and Nina were catching their breaths.  
  
"What was Kaji thinking?" Tsujiai panted. "He already knew that the stupid owner of this stupid castle is now our stupid enemy, so there should be stupid bobby traps!! Stupid..."  
  
When they caught enough breaths, they walked on... The walls were still filled with Sebastian's pictures (Tsujiai was now feeling dizzy...) but there was one picture in a gold frame that obviously wasn't Sebastian. Well, for starters, it was a girl. She was kinda pretty, and she has orange hair and blue eyes.  
  
"Who's she?" Nina asked as she reached her hand out to touch the picture... when...  
  
"NO!" Tsujiai yelled, catching her hand just in time. "Don't touch it!"  
  
"Why?" Nina asked with her innocent eyes looking curiously and intently at Tsujiai.  
  
"Do you want what happened a while ago when Kaji strangled Sebastian's picture and arrows shot everywhere to happen again?" he asked. Nina shook her head. 'But I wasn't gonna strangle it...' Nina thought as they went on.  
  
At the end of the corridor road thingy they met up with Kaji and Yuta. Tsujiai, however, wasn't looking well.  
  
"Man, Sebastian's pictures are REALLY making me sick... I think I'm gonna -- " too late, he puked. Nina looked at him with a revolted look on her face. "Eeeww!!" was all she could say.  
  
Then they were now facing a VERY BIG door... with Sebastian's face painted in it. Tsujiai puked again. Then... it opened... revealing Ayu tied on a cross and Sebastian looking at them with his very evil eyes!!  
  
~*~  
  
"Well, well, well! At last Ayu's rescue party arrives!!!" Sebastian said with a nasty smile on his face. Tsujiai puked again.  
  
"No puking inside my castle!!" he yelled at Tsujiai.  
  
"What did you do to MY Ayu?!?!!" Kaji demanded.  
  
"Nothing... yet. But after I defeat you guys, I will --" but Kaji charged already. Unfortunately, Sebastian just pushed him away.  
  
"WAKEKEKEKEK!!!!!! How are you going to defeat me with only that?" he yelled.  
  
"Nobody does that to my best friend!!!!!!" Tsujiai yelled, and he too charged towards Sebastian... but he too was pushed away.  
  
"TSUJIAI-KUUUUNNNNN!!!!!!!" Nina yelled as she ran towards her boyfriend. (Corny...) "Are you alright?"  
  
"N-not really..." Tsujiai whispered. "I puked, charged, and got attacked... I think I'm gonna..." but he couldn't finish his sentence as his eyes closed, meaning he fainted.  
  
Tears streamed down Nina's face. She then quickly wiped it and turned to face Sebastian. "You're gonna pay." And with that, she attacked him with her magic. They fought.  
  
Yuta went near Tsujiai and said, "Woah, man! Nina really loves you!! Look what your fainting act caused her to do!!! I bet I don't have to do anything 'coz she's obviously gonna torture him..."  
  
Tsujiai suddenly opened his eyes and hissed, "Would you pipe down?! I'm trying to rest!!!" and he closed his eyes again. 'And he thinks we're weird,' Yuta thought.  
  
Just then... Ayu woke up.  
  
"H-huh? Wh-where am I?" she then noticed that she was tied to a cross.  
  
"WHAT THE --?!"  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Yeee!!!!!! At last, chap 4!! I think this chap wasn't as funny as my first three chaps... you decide!! And sad to say... this fic's almost done!!! Aww... but don't worry! I think I'll write a sequel of this... I just hope it would still be funny... But if you review more I'll be really inspired!!!!!  
  
Thanks to those who reviewed:  
  
Maniac witchies- thanks again for the review... really? I never thought my chap three was really that funny... but my dad read it and he was laughing like a hyena!! O.o  
  
Tomoe-mizku- thanks for reviewing and for loving my fic!! Hehe c",)  
  
Cattleya Glory- thanks for the review; no, its really ok!! I thought... ok, so there's no magic... BORING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So, there's magic...  
  
Psychedelic aya- thanks for reviewing; glad you understand... freaky... I just read your bio... we have a lot in common!!!!! Yea!!!! In anime, games, movies... almost everything!! Freaky!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Yeee!!!! My reviews in this fic was far more better and more than my Kidnap GW version!!! Thanks, y'all!!! GO SHORTYS!!!!!! (my big bro's basketball team) 


	5. Mint's Awakening

~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
THE KIDNAP (dundundundunnnnnn!!!!!!!!)  
  
Disclaimers: I don't own Ultra Maniac... I don't own Ultra Maniac... I don't own Ultra Maniac... I don't—  
  
[BONK]  
  
Ok, ok, I'm stoppin'!!! Geez, you didn't have to hit me in the head... YAAAAAAAA!!!!! A rat just passed by!!!! Yeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!  
  
Warnings: a rat... no, wait... I mean Sebastian's "lover" wakes up!!!  
  
A/N: for your information (FYI) Sebastian's "lover", as he calls her, is NOT a made character!!! You'll find out in the end... hehe... NYAHAHAHAHA!!!!! [BONK] oww... Anyway...  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
(Sadly) the last chapter: MINT'S AWAKENING  
  
"WHAT THE --?!"  
  
Everybody noticed that Ayu was awake... except for Nina, that is. She was still angry with Sebastian for hitting Tsujiai that she still attacked Sebastian... and since Sebastian was caught off guard of Ayu's...awakening, Nina hit him hard on the face with her magic!! That's when Nina noticed that Ayu woke up. (When Sebastian fainted, to be specific)  
  
"Ayu-chan!! You're awake!!" Nina said, running towards the cross. "Don't worry, I'll get you --" but Yuta already got Ayu down.  
  
So Nina just went near Sebastian... to finish him off... but Sebastian quickly stood up. "No, wait, you don't understand," Sebastian said. "I need Ayu's blood!!"  
  
"Huh?" the five people stared at him... "What do you need Ayu's blood for, huh?" Kaji asked.  
  
"...Oh, alright, I'll tell you the whole story," Sebastian sighed. "Well, Mint, the one I love --"  
  
"You mean that girl you have a portrait of? The girl with orange hair?" Nina asked. Sebastian nodded, uncertain if he wants to tell them this.  
  
"Well, yes... You see, she... became unconscious for some strange reason. I tried everything to wake her up... even... even k-kissing her..." he said, slightly blushing. Tsujiai puked again.  
  
"Would you stop puking on my castle?! Anyway, thankfully, a was man told me that I should make a potion called 'Phoenix Down' [1] ...but to complete the potion, he said, I must get some blood of a certain Ayu Tateishi. I asked him how he knew Ayu, but all he said was, 'I don't know. That's what it says in the cookbook.'" All sweat dropped.  
  
"So please, now that you know why I kidnapped Ayu, can I ask for even a few drops of Ayu's blood?" he pleaded. Ayu felt sorry for him.  
  
"Y'know, if you told us the story in the first place, you shouldn't have gone through the trouble of kidnapping me," Ayu said.  
  
"W-what?"  
  
"I would've gladly given blood to you if Mint means so much to you!"  
  
Sebastian was suddenly beady eyed with a big sweat drop on his head and a lop-sided smile. This time, Tsujiai didn't puke.  
  
And so, Sebastian got some of Ayu's blood to awaken his love...  
  
^^THE END!!!^^  
  
...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
No, wait!! Its not yet finished!!! ^_~ Hehe...  
  
~*~  
  
At last, the Phoenix Down was done!! Sebastian let Mint drink it... and after a few seconds, Mint opened her eyes.  
  
"How are you feeling, my love?' Sebastian asked soothingly. Tsujiai puked again, but this time, Sebastian did not see him. Mint stared at him...  
  
"...Who the heck are you?" she asked.  
  
"WHAT?!!" Sebastian exclaimed as he froze like a stone. Suddenly, he was waterfall crying. "Don't you remember me, my love?"  
  
"My head's fine!" Mint said exasperatedly. "And you're not my love!!!"  
  
'And you're not my love... and you're not my love...' Mint's voice echoed through the darkness Sebastian was stumbling into. Then, in chibi form, he went to a dark corner and cried.  
  
"Am I in the wrong picture or something?" Mint asked as she looked around.  
  
"Who are you, anyway?" Yuta asked.  
  
"I'm Mint!" she said, standing up. "Princess of East Heaven Kingdom!! My sister took the throne from me so now I'm on a journey looking for Valen's [relic], a very powerful [relic] which can help me with my plans of world domination!!!!!!!! WAKEKEKEKEK!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"If she didn't say she was the princess of whatsitsname kingdom, I'd say Sebastian and Mint are siblings..." Tsujiai whispered to the others.  
  
Then, a white/silver haired guy passed by... and he was bringing a very big weapon.  
  
"Hey, Rue!! There you are!!" Mint said, running towards the guy. "C'mon, let's find the [relic]!!! You promised that we'd do it together!! Right?" Rue sighed. "Yeah, yeah. C'mon, Mint..." and with that they left.  
  
The five people were watching the two go when suddenly...  
  
"WWHHHYYYYYYYYYYY??!!?!?!?!?!!" Sebastian screamed, making the others jump. Tears were still streaming down like waterfalls. "Why did you pick that stupid guy aside from me?!!?!" he screeched. He was obviously crestfallen, heartbroken, etc.  
  
"I think you should rephrase that," Tsujiai said. "It should be, 'Why didn't you pick a stupid guy like me?'" he said, imitating Sebastian's voice.  
  
"Why didn't you – HEY!!! GET OU OF MY CASTLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he roared.  
  
"Like we wanted to stay," Tsujiai mumbled. "C'mon guys, let's leave the crazy heartbroken weirdo alone."  
  
And with that they left the head-spinning castle (t least for Tsujiai) to... PARTY!!!! WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Party!!! Party!!! Party!!!! Yeeee!!!!!  
  
^~DA END!!!!!!!!~^  
  
~*~  
  
Trix: so........ how wuz it??  
  
Kaji: I feel so stupid... being a bulldozer, a bull, and strangler of Seb's picture...  
  
Yuta: hey, no WAY am I gonna allow myself to say the last sentence I said in chapter 4!!!  
  
Ayu: so all I did was sleep? And I just woke up in this chap?  
  
Nina: *laughing hysterically* FU-NNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Tsujiai: I've got a question... why do I always puke when Seb smiles his nasty smile? Huh?!  
  
Trix: the sickness is called 'Sebastian-itis'... hehe...  
  
Nina: I didn't know there was such a sickness!!  
  
Ayu: (sweat drop) it's a joke...  
  
Nina: oh... is it supposed to be funny?  
  
Yuta: what a drop-out witch you are!!!  
  
Trix: uh-oh. Yuta just hit a nerve... yeeee!! This line's in chap three!!!  
  
[Nina's eyes flashed, as well as her hands, and the next thing they knew, Yuta was... flying.]  
  
Tsujiai: And its not b'coz Yuta's air-borne ok, Kaji?  
  
Kaji: I wasn't even gonna say that. I already knew.  
  
Tsujiai: oh... I knew that...  
  
Trix: what a switch!!! Don't worry Tsujiai-ku, I still WUV U!!!!  
  
Nina: HEY!!!!! He's mine!!!  
  
Yuta: What about me, Nina?!!!  
  
[The author and Nina fight... Yuta is still shouting... Tsujiai was trying to get out of the scene... Ayu and Kaji... (Sweat drop)]  
  
~*~  
  
Nyweiz, some clarifications:  
  
[1] Phoenix Down- for those RPG fans, you know this!! Well, if you're not an RPG fan and you don't know what the hell this is, Phoenix Down is a potion thingy that you use when your allies' life points are ZERO. It's used to revive a 'dead' ally.  
  
And about Mint and Rue... they're actually characters of an RPG game called "Threads of Fate". I really like this game... I even finished the game six times!! And since you get to pick which character to use, I finished the game three times each character!!! Yeee!!! I especially liked the endings... in Rue's ending, his "love" Claire comes back to life!! As well as Mint... she goes back to her kingdom and gets to share the throne with her younger sis, Maya!!! Unfortunately, Valen's [relic] was destroyed... only Rue's wish (which is to bring Claire back to life) was granted... Geez, why am I story-telling the game already!!!! Hope you didn't get bored with my ranting...  
  
~*~  
  
Thanks for those who reviewed!!! Arigato gozaimasu!!!! And those who keep waiting for my updating...  
  
Maniac witchies- aww, don't cry!!! As I said, there's a sequel!!! So SMILE!! Be Happy!! Eat at Jollibee and sing 'its so nice to be HAPPY!!!!'  
  
Psychedelic aya- thanks for the review... actually, when I read it again, it was actually quite funny!! But, alas, this fic has come to an end!! Huhu... how sad... c",) (but I'm smiling... now THAT'S weird)  
  
Also to Cattleya Glory, tomoe mizku, zhakeena... who else... jishushika26... and those who read my fic but were sooo lazy to give me a review...  
  
Special thanks to!!!!  
  
Jishu/jishushika26 for being an inspiration!!! And also for supporting my stories and helping me write them!!!!  
  
Also to Darice, the gal I go to when I need ideas!!! ('Coz she's at my back in our class line...) thanks for telling me all about your brothers!!! Ehehe... c",)  
  
~*~  
  
Watch out for the sequel of "Kidnap"... "Party!!" Just as Kaji promised, they're gonna hold a party for Ayu's safe return 'coz they saved her!!!  
  
~*~  
  
Erm... anybody in friendster here? Or even myspace? Even hipstir!!! Please, PLEASE add me!! K? ~~trick_master145@yahoo.com~~ 


End file.
